Helping Yourself Through Transitions
You may have noticed things are starting to feel a little different out there. The light is changing, as our days grow shorter. The weather is trending cooler and wetter. Plants and gardens are starting to slow down. Kids are going back to school. Rhythms and routines are changing. Regardless of how you feel about summer and fall, regardless of if you are going back to school or have kids going back to school, it’s definitely a transition season.
This happens every year right around August/September, and yet it can catch us by surprise. Some of us may be used to transitions and pivoting and be well-practiced at it. Some of us may really struggle with transitions and feel disoriented, out of sync, or disconnected from ourselves. If we pause for a moment, our emotional landscape can clue us in to how we’re feeling. Are you grumpy or irritable? Maybe sad or disappointed? Are you feeling depleted, low energy, unfocused, or disengaged? Maybe you’re ready for the change and you’re excited, curious, and energized. You might also tune into your body. What is it telling you? Often transitions mean we need a little more rest. Your mind-body system is working extra hard to acclimate and orient to the new state, the new rhythm, the changing routines. Transitions can bring an added layer of mental and emotional vulnerability. You might feel more tender, sensitive or raw.
Sometimes our self-care and the things we turn to to cope and regulate might need to change in transitions too. Here are a few ideas for how to help yourself through transitions utilizing the innate wisdom of your nervous system:
Transitionary object: This is something many of us turned to as children––the blanket, bunny, or other comforting object that helped to soothe. Similarly, as adults, we might benefit from an object or thing that is a source of comfort and familiarity. Maybe this is the time where you don your favorite sweatshirt, turn to that mug your friend gave you, return to a beloved book, carry a water bottle, light a candle you enjoy.
Transitionary practice or ritual: Similar to the object above, a transitionary practice or ritual can take many forms. A practice or ritual can offer a bit of containment when there is a lot of change or upheaval. It can help orient us to where we are in the world and in our lives, setting some new routines. This could take the form of a walk in the morning, journaling, swimming, making tea in the afternoon, lighting a candle once the sun has set. Consider what practices you are already drawn to and lean in a little.
Rest: As stated above, big transitions can make us tired, as we re-orient to a new routine, a new emotional landscape, or move through the grief that can come with big changes. If your mind and body are craving more sleep and rest, can you give that to yourself?
Orient through senses: As mentioned above, it can feel disorienting to be in a season of change and transition. This is a good opportunity to intentionally orient yourself utilizing your 5 senses. Whether you’re at home, on a walk, sitting at your desk, making dinner, can you tune in for a minute to what your eye is drawn to around you? What do you smell? What do you hear? Do you sense the wind or sun or rain on your skin? Can you tune in to the taste of your coffee or your lunch?
Do something familiar: When our lives are in upheaval or even gently transitioning from one season to the next, it can feel grounding to tap into something really familiar. Consider making a familiar meal, listening to a familiar album, walking or running a familiar route, or spending time with a trusted and easy friend.
Ride the wave: So much of what the practices above are inviting you to is to notice and allow yourself to feel the emotions that might come up in times of transition. Can you ride the wave of the emotional highs and lows of a season of change? Can you be with the feelings that arise? The grief or disappointment you might feel? The anxiety or anticipation of what’s next? With curiosity and compassion, I invite you to ride the wave of your feelings, knowing they will come and they will go.
A lot of the prompts for coping and regulation above are making use of your resources, both internally and externally. If you find yourself in a time of transition and feel like a little more support would be helpful, I hope you’ll reach out. I’d be glad to talk about how somatic therapy can help support your mind-body system.